Category Archives: Main Menu

Hilda and Gerda

Back to School and back to reality

Today is the day that most of us are rudely woken up from our holiday slumber to discover that there is a lot to get done before school starts again on Wednesday. Its time to reorganise and kick ourselves in to gear for the new year ahead. Its no different for the team at Ukukhanya.  Not only are we still dealing with the aftermath of the flooding last year, but we are also looking forward and planning 2014. Continue reading

Volunteer at Ukukhanya

This morning Ukukhanya opened its doors to 2014.  We are looking forward to another year in which we are able to support, assist and change the lives of the people who have suffered from abuse in the Helderberg region.  We are all extremely positive that 2014 will be a year of exciting progress and growth.

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Ukukhanya – Signs of Trauma in Children

Signs of Trauma in Children

Are you concerned that your child is reacting to trauma in some way?  Here is a list of some of the typical reactions of children exposed to stress and trauma.  Ukukhanya offers free counselling and play therapy to children, and parents, to assist with overcoming trauma.  You can find Ukukhanya in Michaels Arcade in Somerset West, 021 850 0061.

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Boundaries

Setting Boundaries

Everywhere we look there are boundaries. We have them around our homes (fences), our workplace (policies and rules) the road (traffic act) and we need to keep to this otherwise there could be consequences for us. Why then is it so difficult to have boundaries in our relationships.

Between two partners there need to be certain boundaries. One such a boundary between me and my husband is that we need to inform each other if we are going to be late returning home from somewhere else. This is for safety reasons. As you could see, boundaries should be reasonable and also have got good solid reasons which both partners are happy with. Some of these boundaries can be no shouting, no swearing, no physical harm etc. In severe cases it may even be no contact. Sometimes it is difficult for two people to agree to some of these boundaries and then they need the help of the court in setting these boundaries by taking out a Protection Order against their partner.  By taking out a protection order it will most likely mean that one of the parties would not be happy with this protection order and the conditions contained in this. That is why it is so important to set these boundaries early in the relationship even before it becomes a problem.

With our kids we also need to set boundaries from birth. Do not think you will set these boundaries when they are older and understand better. No by that time it should be part of their and your life. Be firm in setting these boundaries and do not move them around because that will cause unnecessary problems in your relationships. You cannot expect a 4year old for instance to understand why mommy/daddy allows him to have a cool drink with his meals the one day and the next he is not allowed to have any. You have got to put the rules down and then stick to it yourself. You cannot tell a 4 year old not to have something to drink with a meal and then do the exact thing you do not want him to do..

By setting down boundaries in a child’s life they will be so much better in putting boundaries down in their own life when needed. It can stop so much unnessacary heartache for them and you as the parent.

If I expect my husband to let me know he is going to be late I have to do the same when I am going to be late. Boundaries/rules are there for both parties. This will stop unnecessary heartache and disagreements later in your life.

Remember boundaries should always be reasonable and have solid reasons and be acceptable to both parties.

Hilda Lourens, CEO, Ukukhanya

Helderberg Floods affect Ukukhanya

The recent flooding in Somerset West has left the offices of Ukukhanya very wet.  Although we managed to get the worst of the water up the problem is that the foundations of the building are soaked and water continues to seep up through the concrete.  It is very damp and smelly.  We are hoping that that landlord’s insurance will replace the carpets, but much of our office furniture is ruined.  The Helderberg Floods have subsided, but there is still a lot of cleaning up to do.

If anyone can assist us with donations we would sincerely appreciate it.

We are also looking for someone who is handy with wood to repair our dollhouse in the children’s play-therapy room.

Dolls house in the play therapy room at Ukukhanya

Dolls house in the play therapy room at Ukukhanya